The Reality of Being a Small Female Streamer (And Why It’s Still Worth It)
I will be the first to acknowledge that I am a small streamer. At the time of this post, I am under one thousand followers and average less than 20 viewers per stream. However, after 5+ years of chaotic gaming moments, on-air tech troubleshooting and many instances of trial by error, I have seen enough to pass along some words of wisdom (and maybe warning) for anyone thinking about entering the streaming gambit.
WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE, YOU TAKE A BIG RISK.
Firstly: I have loved the vast majority of my experiences on Twitch. I started knowing next to nothing and very quickly found other small streamers to connect with who supported me enormously in my early days. Most people have been neutral at worst, downright fun more often than not, and the friends I’ve made are the best ones I will ever have.
All this to say that, of course, as a woman who dares to be bad at games on camera, I have experienced my fair share of toxic bs.
I still think about the person who jumped into my chat for the first time to simply say: “You look tired.” Looking back, it makes me laugh (mostly because I’m sure as sh*t I did look tired), but also it was somehow the least offensive and most upsetting insult I could have gotten in that exact moment. It made me realize how vulnerable I could feel, live, and in front of mostly strangers. Putting myself out there as honestly as I could, trying to be welcoming, entertaining, and keep my equipment working, all while attempting to make progress in a game I may or may not have experience with. Ultimately, this person did apologize after some polite but firm confrontation, but still got the ban hammer in the end. This is clearly far from the worst abuse ever experienced by someone on Twitch, but it still resonates with me as a small but persistent reminder that, as soon as you are live, people may try to ruin your day for no apparent reason (aside from their own amusement).
I LOOKED FOR THE STREAM QUEENS WHO WERE ALREADY LEADING THE CHARGE.
As soon as I started streaming, I followed a large number of other streamers in the hopes of learning how to walk the walk and further build my community, too. Over the years, I have seen several big female streamers deal with the kind of public harassment I wouldn’t wish on anybody. One even producing a video to run specifically in response to the frequent hate raids she was receiving. These hate raids came from male streamers who also played in her game category (World of Warcraft) and would raid in while she was live on Twitch to harass and disrupt her channel. I think about her composure and confidence in the face of such hateful vitriol and admire her panache, but deeply regret she had to withstand that tsunami of garbage. These women are tough, funny, professional entertainers who range along the Twitch spectrum of gaming skill from beginner (but entertaining to watch) all the way to competitive (while still being welcoming and fun). They inspired me to stand firm and not take any sh*t from anyone, even as I watched many of them step away from Twitch over the years, primarily listing their mental health as the main contributing factor in the decision to withdraw.
I can’t see the gender identity of the people in my chat, so unless I know them personally, I am left to base my guess on only what they say or how they behave. I can also guess based on current metrics. 65 to 80% of Twitch users (that’s streamers and viewers) are male. This makes sense on a platform that is predominantly focused on video games, sports, the “legal” forms of gambling, and chatting live with pretty women (who are hopefully making bank and have a great mod team supporting them).
THE STATS TELL A STORY, BUT THEY AREN’T THE WHOLE PICTURE.
I do not intend to make this entirely a “men vs. women” conversation, but the majority of my negative experiences on Twitch have been perpetrated by male users. When I think about the hate raids sent towards women and queer streamers, targeting them to make them uncomfortable and unsafe, attempting to drive them off of the platform and out of the public eye, I can’t help but see Twitch as a perfect microcosm of the larger world. In a deeply dark way, I sometimes find the open hostility refreshing. Where we typically see oppression institutionalized, disguised behind prejudicial corporate hiring policies, buildings lacking accessible features, and in the daily micro-aggressions experienced across all minority groups, Twitch has a way of amplifying the bigotry, making it easier to identify.
The biggest hallmarks of my experience as a female streamer have been differentiated by what my male cohorts rarely consider when they go live. I am a woman existing in the world, at the end of the day, so daring to showcase my personality or gameplay, even to seek attention or community, is enough to garner criticism and attacks.
WE HAVE TO BE IT ALL, ALL THE TIME, FOR EVERYONE, BUT OURSELVES.
According to the world at large, women who stream should:
Be pretty, but not TOO pretty (otherwise we’re trying too hard)
Be fun and flirty, but not too sexual (otherwise we’re whores)
Be receptive to condescension and “advice” (otherwise we’re being defensive and difficult)
Be nerdy and know a wide range of fandom references (otherwise, we’re not real gamers)
Be available and single-coded for the enjoyment of others, even if we’re married (otherwise we’re no good to anyone)
This fine line will not only impact my experience on stream, from a social standpoint, but can legitimately affect my potential earnings and success. Do I have my husband as a regular cohost? Knowing that will ruin the “girlfriend” illusion? How much do I talk about politics? My feminist viewpoints? Do I risk making people uncomfortable in order to be myself? Again, knowing that alienating viewers or being “too outspoken” will eliminate certain sponsorship options or other forms of financial gain.
After all of this, I would leave you (potential new streamer friend) with my top pieces of advice:
Ban with abandon
It’s YOUR channel and no matter the behavior, if someone makes you unhappy, or uncomfortable, you never have to explain this choice, or be afraid to make it.
Get comfortable saying no and being in charge
Bartending has turned out to be some of my most helpful professional experience to date (unhelpful in other ways lol) but in this instance I feel like it comes in clutch. I tell people no constantly. I do it nicely (at least at first) but I flatly refuse unsolicited help and will tell people to get in line when they step out. Even if people don’t read your posted rules, you know them and should enforce them however you see fit.
Get some mods you trust
It takes a village and having a moderator or two in chat while you are live provides an extra layer of security and support. Mods can do the moderating, leaving you free to enjoy whatever it is you are sharing with the world! It’s still important to be familiar with all of the mod actions so you can do them when needed, but if you’ve got a friend who will lurk and help out while you’re getting started, it helps keep you safe and focused on why you’re here in the first place!
Experiment and embrace the learning experience!
Especially while you are new, try things out to see how they feel! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and don’t worry if things are perfect! Every stream is a chance to get more information, approach it with curiosity and optimism, and see what you find out!
Make sure YOU have fun!
For most of us, streaming will not be our primary income source, so don’t let it be your worst-paying job! However you decide to structure your channel, whatever you decide to stream, at the end of the day you are the one putting yourself out there, so your enjoyment matters most! This will also give you the best shot at doing it consistently, which is the best way to grow and find your online tribe <3
BE YOURSELF
At the end of the day, who gives a flying f*ck if your values and personality push some people away? They will make space for all of the people you WANT to find you. For the sponsors and game devs who stand beside you. There is no amount of money worth losing yourself for. Stick to your guns and don’t apologize for being you.
TWITCH IS A BETTER PLACE WITH YOU IN IT!
Streaming has led me to some of the best things in my life, and if you’re considering trying it for yourself, I can only encourage you to give it a shot! I genuinely relish the opportunity to be myself in real time, to crack jokes with my friends, workshop silly voices, shout about politics uninterrupted, and embrace the chaos that is any live “TV” experience. You have an incredible opportunity on Twitch to build found-family. To find others like you who want to fight oppression and take up more space in the world, hand in hand. Yes, you will deal with a jerk or two here or there, but those insignificant randoms will not only make you tougher and quicker the next time someone tries to rain on your parade, but they will also be buried by the mountain of positive interactions that will come your way.
It’s a grind. But it’s a fun grind :)
Want to join in my world too? Come find me anytime!
@queenB3atrix everywhere else <3
